Down in the Hole
by CPD5021George
Summary: This story is inspired by Chicago PD Episode 3x7 "A Dead Kid, a Notebook, and a Lot of Maybes". It's set in season 7, and it is an Upstead story – no surprise here. Intelligence is called to a possible school shooting, which hits too close to home for Jay Halstead.
1. Chapter 1

**_This story wanted to be written after I re-watched one of my favourite Chicago PD episodes from the earlier seasons, and talked to some of my fellow Upstead-fans - thank you, guys. _**

**Chapter 1**

It had been a slow week for the Intelligence Unit in Chicago's 21st precinct until now. No major cases; the unit had done a lot of catch-up on paperwork. For a few days they were fine with it, but by now everyone got a big edgy. They wanted to do real police work again, no paper pushing.

Little did they know their wish would be granted soon enough, that the next case would push some of them to their limits and beyond.

* * *

Jay Halstead and Hailey Upton had stopped at a coffee shop on their way to work this morning. They had only just ordered coffee and bagels when the call reached them.

"Possible mass shooting threat in Lincoln High School. All available officers report to scene immediately."

Jay and Hailey exchanged a quick glance. That didn't sound good. Everyone dreaded this kind of call; school shootings were among the worst that could happen. Nobody wanted to see dead children.

"That's only two blocks from here," Hailey remarked, and Jay nodded.

"Let's go," he agreed.

"5021 Henry, plainclothes officers on our way."

They grabbed their coffees and food, ran to their car, jumped inside, and within 5 minutes they arrived at Lincoln High School. Students and teachers were out on the yard and the street; there was a lot of yelling, people were running around.

A tall forty-something woman hurried towards Jay and Hailey, as soon as she saw them. Jay and Hailey ran across the schoolyard to the woman.

"Detective Upton," Hailey introduced herself, then pointed at Jay. "This is Detective Halstead. What's going on? Where is the shooting?"

"Veronica Summers," the woman introduced herself. "I'm the principal. We found evidence of a threat for a shooting with one of our kids. Nothing has happened yet."

"What exactly is going on?" Jay asked.

"Nothing yet, but we're following protocol." Ms. Summers explained. "One of our students, Cameron Davis, posted threatening messages on social media. A fellow student found it and immediately informed us. That's what we teach all the kids. We searched Cameron's locker, and found this." She handed Hailey a box.

Hailey opened the box cautiously; inside she found a phone and several papers. The papers were full of scribbled text – and at first glance it was clear: This boy was in serious trouble. The messages mainly stated that he wanted to get revenge, to kill, to run. And there were images and prints of guns, a sketch of a pipe bomb. But no gun. No weapons or ammunition at all.

"Where is the boy now?" Jay asked.

"We've got him in detention," the principal answered. "We managed to separate him from the other kids and locked him up."

"So there is no imminent threat?" Hailey asked. "Did he carry any weapons?"

"No, nothing at all. Please let me take you to him."

Hailey and Jay exchanged a glance. There was no direct danger, the situation was under control. Good news. But it still sounded a bit strange.

Jay radioed his colleagues. "5021 George. Situation is under control. No shooting. Backup required to search the premises. We will bring the suspect in."

Then he followed Ms. Summers and Hailey inside.

* * *

The doors leading into the school building were guarded by two uniformed policemen, the school was empty.

They were brought to the end of a long hallway, into an area that was off limits to students. Finally, the principal stopped at a heavy door in a corner of the building.

This door was guarded by two further cops.

"Would you please let us in?" Ms. Summers asked them.

The cops moved to the side, unlocked the door.

All three entered a large office room with no furniture except for a table and several chairs. The window was secured and locked.

A boy sat on one of the chairs. Lanky, with longish unkempt brown hair, the biggest brown eyes, old checkered shirt that seemed too big for him, and old denims. These big eyes looked at the two detectives in sheer panic, the boy seemed to shrink back into his seat when Jay and Hailey entered with the school principal.

Jay felt sorry for the boy immediately, even though he knew he shouldn't, because he probably was a threat to others. He knew he shouldn't let his emotions take over.

Slowly and carefully he approached, took a chair and sat down close to the boy.

"Cameron?" he asked quietly.

The boy nodded. "Yes. Why are you here? Why am I here? What is going on?"

"I'm Detective Halstead," Jay calmly said, then pointed at Hailey. "This is Detective Upstead. We need to talk to you, Cameron."

"What is this about?"

"These people are afraid that you want to kill other students and teachers here in the school," Jay calmly explained. "We need to take you to the precinct."

"Wha-what?"

Jay put a hand on the boy's shoulder. Somehow, he couldn't believe that this boy should be capable of shooting others, of killing others just like that. But he knew that looks could be deceiving. "Cameron, we need to take you in custody. Stand up."

Slowly, with obviously weak knees, the boy stood up, put his hands behind his back in defeat and allowed Jay to put handcuffs on him.

Hailey took over, read the boy his rights and led him outside.

"We've got it from here, Ms. Summers," she said. "Uniforms will check the whole building, and they will let you know when everyone can go back inside."

"Thank you," the principal just answered, following the two detectives.

* * *

Jay and Hailey shielded the boy off the groups of students and teachers, while they guided him to their car. The noise around them got louder, and people seemed to be closing in on them, as if they wanted to take care of Cameron right there. The boy's eyes showed that he was terrified, and Jay put his arm loosely on the boys' shoulders, almost automatically. Hailey eyed him from the side. His behavior was unusual under these circumstances. She would have to check with him later. Since when was Jay so caring, so protective with a suspect?

Jay sat Cameron in the car, and they drove off to the precinct.

* * *

Back at 21st, they brought the boy upstairs and placed him in one of the interrogation rooms.

"Wait here, we'll be back soon." Jay said to Cameron, then followed Hailey into the office.

Voight and the other members of the unit already waited for them.

"What is it, Halstead?" Voight didn't waste time, came right to the point.

"We heard the call to a possible shooting at Lincoln High on our way to work," Jay explained. "And since we were only a few blocks away, we answered the call."

"But when we arrived, there was no shooting," Hailey continued. "The principal told us that this boy, Cameron Davis, was in detention, because he posed a threat. Fellow students found posts on social media, in which Cameron threatened the school and his fellow students. And in his locker, there was more evidence of a threat." She placed the box on the desk.

"So nothing happened?" Adam asked.

Jay shook his head. "Nothing. The boy looked terrified, more than anything."

"But the principal followed the school protocol for such situations," Hailey explained. "Obviously the school cannot risk anything, so they called us. The best they could do. Imagine what would have happened if they had taken this too lightly, and Cameron would have shot someone."

"OK, let's interrogate Cameron and find out what this whole thing is about." Voight said. "But first of all, get his parents here. Burgess, Rojas, get their address and whereabouts and bring them here."

"Copy that," Kim answered, grabbed her jacket, and left the office with their newest member, Vanessa Rojas, in tow.

"Atwater, Ruzek, you check out Cameron Davis' social media accounts." Voight ordered. "Verify if there is an actual threat or just childish nonsense."

"Copy that," both answered and started working on their computers right away.

"And then we will call for a lawyer to be present at the interrogation."

"Sarge," Jay said. "Would you mind if I talked to Cameron now?"

Voight looked at Jay, as if trying to find out why he wanted to talk to the boy so urgently.

"Sarge, I just want to talk to him." Jay insisted.

"Hmmm," Voight just uttered. After a few seconds, he agreed. "OK, but no interrogation, just talk. And take Upton."

"Thanks, Sarge."


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

Right before they entered the interrogation room, Hailey touched Jay's shoulder, holding him back. "You ok, partner?"

Jay looked at Hailey. "Yeah, sure."

"Anything I need to know?"

Jay stared at Hailey. "No, why? I just think there's more to this story."

Hailey smiled at him, "I know, Jay. But you seem agitated. I'm a bit worried."

He quietly shook his head, more willing to give his partner an honest answer now. "It's fine, Hailey. I just feel sorry for this boy. I don't think he's a shooter. And I want to find out what was going on."

Hailey touched his arm again, "I hear you, Jay. I have your back in this. Always."

"I know, partner."

* * *

With a plastic cup of water in his hand, Jay entered the room, followed by Hailey. Cameron Davis was not cuffed; he was just sitting there, staring at the table. He lifted his head slightly, when the two detectives entered the room. The panic was gone from his eyes, right now he looked more annoyed than anything.

Jay placed the water on the table for Cameron, sat down opposite him, while Hailey leaned against the wall.

"Don't you need my parents here when you interrogate me?" Cameron asked.

Jay held up his hands. "Cameron, we don't want to interrogate you right now. I just want to talk. And I'll leave immediately whenever you want me to. There is a camera recording everything, so you can be sure nothing bad is going to happen to you. Please let's just talk."

Cameron stared at Jay, then at Hailey. She nodded slightly, reassuringly.

"OK then," he agreed reluctantly. "Would you please explain why I am here?"

Jay looked at him serenely. "You are here because someone called the police. People thought that you would start a shooting in your school. We told you that already."

"But why?"

"Someone found some photos on social media," Jay explained. "And your locker – all the writing and the images. You must understand what that looks like."

"Social media? I don't know what you're talking about." Cameron shook his head. "And the writing – that was nothing. Images? What images?"

"Cameron, I can help you," Jay insisted. "But you must let me help you. Please tell me everything."

Cameron just stared at him. "There is nothing to tell. I didn't plan any shooting. I don't even have a gun, have never used one."

"Then why do you think would anyone call the cops on you?" Hailey asked.

He scoffed. "Because they hate me, that's why."

Jay put his hand on Cameron's arm. "Who hates you? Why?"

"What do you care?" Cameron pulled back his hand. "Fact is, I didn't plan any shooting, or anything like that. You won't find any evidence of that. Just let me go."

"Jay," Hailey said softly. "We need to wait for Cameron's parents. We should stop here."

Jay looked at his partner, sighed. He turned back to the boy.

"Cameron, please let us help you."

"You just want to find a scapegoat or whatever. I haven't done anything."

"No, I don't." Jay replied. "I'm not looking for a scapegoat. We want to find out what happened."

"Jay!" Hailey again, more insisting now.

"Fine," Jay gave in. "Cameron, we'll leave you now. Our colleagues are checking out more details, and we will wait for your parents and the lawyer. Call me, if you want to talk, ok?"

He stood up, put his hand on Cameron's shoulder briefly, and left the room with Hailey.

* * *

In the hallway Hailey held Jay back. "You still think there's more to this?"

Jay turned around to face Hailey. He nodded. "I've got a weird feeling here. Something's off."

"Jay, don't get too invested," she warned him. "We'll see if anything else comes up when his parents are here, and then we will let him go. And that's it."

"Probably." Jay agreed quietly.

"What's going on, Jay?" Hailey asked again.

"Nothing, Hailey." Jay shook his head and went into the office.

Hailey stayed back. She would have to talk to him later. For some strange reason he connected to the boy more than usually. And that didn't always end well.

* * *

In the meantime, Kevin and Adam had checked out Cameron's social media accounts. They showed in fact that this was a very troubled boy. They found some worrying posts, but nothing too drastic. Yes, the word "revenge" showed up several times, but it was always very general, never an actual threat.

Jay stood close behind Kevin, stared at the screen, very focused, while Kevin explained to the others what they had found.

"So, it was basically a false alarm?" Voight asked the team.

"Probably yes," Hailey said.

"OK, we will wait for the parents to arrive, and then talk to the boy with the parents present one more time," Voight concluded. "And after that we will let him go."

"But Sarge," Jay protested. "Something is going on here!"

Voight eyed Jay. "Maybe, Jay. But nothing we can solve. This boy might need a psychiatrist, not us."

"But..."

"Jay, enough!" Voight ended the discussion.

* * *

Not long after that, Vanessa and Kim brought Cameron Davis' mother in.

"What's going on?" she asked into the room. It was obvious she had asked the same question several times before, while on the way to the precinct, but hadn't received a satisfying answer so far.

"Ms. Davis," Voight started. "Sit down, please. Cameron's school called the police this morning, because they suspected that Cameron might plan a shooting in the school."

"What? Cameron?" she shook her head in disbelief. "Cameron would never do that."

Voight nodded. "Someone found suspicious posts in his social media, and in his locker, there were indications that Cameron had planned something."

"But..."

"Ms. Davis," Voight tried to calm her down. "We haven't found evidence that he was in fact on to something. But we would like to talk to him once again with you in the room. Perhaps we can find out what is going on. Then you can take him home."

Ms. Davis nodded.

* * *

This time Voight went into the interrogation room, taking Ms. Davis and Hailey with him. Jay went to the adjacent room to watch. He would have preferred to be inside, hoping he could gain Cameron's trust. But Voight didn't have that.

The interrogation didn't give them any new details. And when the lawyer finally arrived, everything was over, and Cameron was free to go.

Jay approached him once again, as they stood in the hallway.

"Cameron, if you want to talk about what's going on, call me," he said insistently. "Perhaps I can help. Please."

Cameron looked at Jay, still suspicious of the cop, then shrugged. "I'm fine," he just said.

Jay nodded slowly, put a hand on Cameron's shoulder and handed him his card with the other hand.

"Please call whenever you feel like talking. Or whenever you need help." Jay repeated.

The boy just looked at Jay, turned around towards his mother and left with her.

Jay watched the two of them go, still an uneasy feeling in his gut.

He flinched when he felt a hand on his arm.

"It's me," Hailey said softly. "Come, Jay."

Jay followed Hailey back into the room, from which he had watched the interrogation.

Hailey closed the door behind them.

"What's wrong Jay?"

"What do you mean?" he asked back.

"You're very much invested in this case." Hailey insisted. "Why? What is it that makes you connect to this boy?"

Jay looked down. "I'm not sure," he answered slowly. "I just feel something is odd here."

"You said that already. Why do you relate to this boy, Jay? I know you care, but this is more than usual, even for you."

Jay shook his head. "Don't worry, Hailey, everything is fine. I just want to get to the bottom of a case."

Hailey gave him a doubtful gaze. "If you say so."

* * *

During the rest of the day, Jay kept to himself, and Hailey decided not to push him. She would keep an eye on him, just to be sure he was ok.

When it was time to go home, however, Vanessa approached her.

"Hey, what do you think about a pizza tonight, my treat."

Hailey looked at her roommate. "Yeah, why not," she decided. It would be nice to get to know each other a bit better. It would be good for the current living arrangements and for work.

Hailey gave Jay a brief nod, then left the office with Vanessa.

Jay drove home alone, still thinking about Cameron Davis and what had happened this morning. He would have liked to spend the evening with Hailey and a drink, just to unwind. But that was not possible.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

A few days later, police and ambulance were called to Lincoln High School again. It sounded like a fight, so Intelligence did not answer the call, and the precinct sent a regular squad car.

When Jay's phone rang, while he and Hailey were driving from another crime scene, he didn't make anything of it, just answered.

It was Sylvie Brett.

"Sylvie, what can I do for you?"

"Jay, we've got a kid in the ambulance," Sylvie answered. "And he's got your card in his wallet. You might want to come to Med."

"What? Who's the kid? What happened?" He had a bad feeling immediately. Hailey noticed how his mood changed suddenly, eyed him inquiringly.

"The boy is the victim of a school fight," Sylvie explained. "His name is Cameron Davis. He's unconscious. And I figured since he has your card, you might like to know."

"I'll be at Med asap," Jay answered, turned the car and drove to the hospital without a further word.

Hailey eyed Jay suspiciously, as she had only heard his part of the conversation.

"What is it, Jay?"

"Cameron Davis is on his way to Med."

"And why did Brett call you?"

"He had my card," Jay answered. "I gave it to him, figured he might want to talk. You saw that. Hailey, I thought he needed help."

"It seems you were right." Hailey said quietly. "Let's go to Med and see what we can do."

* * *

They arrived at Med within a few minutes, and Jay ran into the Emergency Room, not waiting for Hailey, who followed at a slower pace. Inside, he saw Sylvie Brett and approached her.  
"Jay, good you're here." Sylvie said.

"How is Cameron? Are his parents here?"

"His parents are on their way, they will be here in about an hour." Sylvie explained. "Dr. Choi is with him, he will let us know more details as soon as he has them. We found Cameron unconscious on the schoolyard. It seems a group of other kids had beaten him heavily. He looks terrible. Do you know what's behind this? Why does he have your card?"

"Sh..." Jay shook his head. "I knew something was not right. Remember the false alarm about a shooting a few days ago?"

Sylvie nodded. "Was that about him?"

"His fellow students claimed that he posted threatening messages, that he was a potential shooter. But he hadn't done anything, and we couldn't find any actual evidence for a threat. So we let him go."

"And now his classmates beat him into unconsciousness." Sylvie added. "And what's your role in that?"

"I talked to him," Jay said. "And I had a bad feeling. Like the kid has problems, might need help. I offered my help, that's why I gave him my card."

"I see."

"Jay," Hailey interrupted the two. "Ethan is over there. Let's go."

All three of them approached the doctor. He didn't look too happy.

"Ethan," Jay greeted him. "How is he?"

"Not good," Ethan Choi answered. "We will have to perform a few more tests, a CT, but Cameron might have suffered brain damage. We had to put him in a coma for the moment."

Jay's eyes widened. "Oh my. Can I go in?"

"Jay, you're not family." Ethan protested, but Jay was already on his way.

* * *

Cameron was lying in the hospital bed, pale, bruises, blood on his face. Jay just stood there, shocked.

The two women followed him, Hailey put a hand on his shoulder.

"Jay, it's not your fault," she said quietly.

"Yes, it is." Jay answered. "I knew I should have done something."

"Jay! There was nothing you could have done." Hailey said once again. "Come on, let's go back to the precinct."

Jay briefly looked at her, then turned back to Cameron. "You go, I will stay here. At least until his parents have arrived. He shouldn't be alone."

Hailey wasn't happy with his decision, but she knew him well enough to see that he wouldn't change his mind. With another soft pat on his shoulder she left the room together with Sylvie Brett. Jay grabbed a chair and sat down, stared at the boy.

* * *

Hailey drove back to the precinct, not quite sure of how to react. She knew Jay felt responsible, but she didn't know what to do. To her it was clear that Jay couldn't have prevented this from happening, but how could she make him see that? And was there anything else that made him care so much? Would she be able to get to the bottom of this? Would she be able to help Jay? She knew she had to try, because Jay had the tendency to get worked up about things easily.

* * *

Back in 21st, she briefly explained the situation to Voight and her colleagues.

"OK," Voight replied. "Let him stay there today. Tomorrow we can see if there's anything we can do about this case. I will talk to the responding officers. You ok, Upton?"

Hailey confirmed that. "Not sure about Halstead, though."

* * *

Jay didn't leave Cameron's place until the parents arrived.

"Detective Halstead," Ms. Davis greeted him, tears in her eyes. "Were you there when it happened?"

"No," Jay answered. "We didn't respond to the call. But the paramedic called me, because Cameron had my card. I wanted to help him. I'm so sorry I couldn't prevent this." Jay had trouble keeping his voice normal, to not show his emotions. He owed it to the parents to be professional.

"Thank you, Detective," Mr. Davis said. "We appreciate your concern."

"Do you know what exactly happened?" Ms. Davis asked.

"The patrol officers said that his fellow students beat him badly," Jay explained. "Probably because of what happened a few days ago. If they considered him a threat, they might have been scared."

"I wish I had known how bad his problems were," Ms. Davis just said. "We should have done more to help him."

Jay nodded. "I'll leave you alone now. If you need me, I'll be outside."

He left the room, feeling exhausted, leaned against the nurses' counter.

"Jay, are you ok?" he heard Sylvie Brett's voice.

Surprised, he looked at the paramedic. "You're still here too?"

"Yeah," she shrugged. "I wanted to see how he's doing. I know I shouldn't, but... "

Jay gave her a sad, knowing smile. "And? Any news?"

"No, nothing." Sylvie answered. "I have to go now. Should I give you a ride back to 21st?"

"No thanks, I'll wait for my brother." Jay said. He sensed that Sylvie wanted to check on him, that was who she was, and he appreciated it. But he wasn't in the mood. If he wanted to talk to anyone, it would be Hailey, nobody else. And Hailey wasn't here.

Jay watched Sylvie leave, found himself a spot where he wasn't standing in the way, and watched doctors and nurses doing their work in the emergency room. He couldn't make himself leave just yet.

At some point he heard his phone ring, but he didn't feel like even checking. He would be back in the office tomorrow and could talk to his unit then. And Hailey – perhaps she would drop by his place later. Secretly that's what he hoped for.

Eventually Will noticed his brother still lingering in the hospital. Slowly he approached Jay. "What are you still doing here?"

"Don't know." Jay answered. "Waiting for news?"

"Jay, Cameron's parents are with him. He will be transferred upstairs into ICU. There's nothing you can do here. It's not your responsibility."

"Still…"

"Jay, I promise I will keep you up to date. It's late already. Go home. And let it go." He shoved his brother out of the emergency room.

* * *

Hailey had called Jay several times, but he hadn't picked up his phone. She was a bit worried, but also somewhat annoyed that he ignored her. Perhaps she should stop by his place later and check on him. She couldn't do more now, because she had a lot of work to do herself, and before she even realized it, it was already late, and they all left for home. Vanessa tried to be supportive; she decided not to go out with the others, but insisted on ordering pizza for the two of them. Therefore, Hailey didn't have a chance to check in on Jay, like she had originally planned. She wasn't happy about that, but didn't want to antagonize her new roommate. She meant well, after all.

They had a fun evening. Pizza and a glass of wine helped them unwind, and Hailey managed to forget about the worries for a while. Jay would be fine.

* * *

Jay drove home after his brother had literally kicked him out of the emergency room, and he spent the evening alone, basically not doing anything. He sat down on his couch, grabbed a beer, switched on the TV. He couldn't stop thinking about Cameron Davis. He had known that something was deeply wrong, and he should have done something. Hell, he knew what the boy was going through, he knew it from his own experience. And still he had let the others talk him into not doing anything. This didn't feel good. He was determined to make up for it, to make sure that from this point on he would do all he could to help Cameron. If only to make his feeling of guilt go away.


	4. Chapter 4

_**Thank you all very much for your kind reviews. This chapter will explain more about Jay's background, and why he's so shaken up by this case. And don't worry - Hailey will eventually be there. It just takes a while. **_

**Chapter 4**

The next morning, all were in the office relatively early, including Jay.

While they were going through their usual morning routine, Hailey watched Jay, trying to figure out how he felt. He seemed to be in his normal morning-mood, a bit more quiet than usual, but apart from that nothing out of the ordinary. He didn't talk about the day before, didn't mention it at all. Hailey decided to wait for an opportunity before she would talk to him.

The Cameron Davis Case was not in the hands of Intelligence, it was clear who had beaten him, so patrol officers took care of it. The responsible students were brought in, interrogated, processed.

Intelligence had a new case, a violent robbery turned homicide, so it didn't take long before they were all out in the field. Jay was partnered with Atwater, Hailey with Kim, so there was no possibility for Hailey to talk to her friend all day long. Furthermore, she didn't have much time to think about this anyway, the case was not difficult but involved a lot of driving around, talking to people, breaking in doors, running, and in the end arresting two offenders.

All in all, a successful day for the unit.

* * *

As they all reconvened in the office by the end of their shift, there was a lot of laughing and chatting, and nobody actually noticed that Jay was still unusually quiet. Or that he didn't comment when the others agreed to meet at Molly's later. Even Hailey didn't notice, as she was distracted by Kevin, who was playing the clown.

So, when they left the precinct, Hailey gave Jay a quick pat on the shoulder. "See you, Jay."

"Hm." Jay just replied, not looking at her.

Hailey didn't think much of it, didn't have much time to think about it, because Vanessa hopped into her car with her, and the two of them chatted all the way home.

Only later, when they were at Molly's, Hailey noticed that Jay wasn't there. The place next to her was empty. Everyone was having fun, nobody but her seemed to miss Jay, which somehow annoyed Hailey. He was a part of the team like anybody else, why did nobody notice that Jay wasn't here? He hadn't mentioned that he wanted to come later or had something else to do, so Hailey was a bit disappointed. She had been looking forward to seeing him tonight. Without Jay the team wasn't complete. And she really wanted to talk to him, so she decided to call him. After all she hadn't checked on him the night before. She stepped outside in the street, tried to call Jay a few times, but Jay didn't pick up the phone. That was unusual. The last time he hadn't picked up the phone at all, it was during this dreadful affair with Camilla. He always answered *her* calls. She couldn't deny a slight uneasiness.

"Hey, you coming back inside? It's cold out here," she suddenly heard Adam's voice.

"Yeah, I'm coming." She would talk to Jay tomorrow.

* * *

Jay was in the ICU at Med. He noticed that Hailey called him, but he didn't feel like talking. Especially not over the phone. He was sitting at Cameron Davis' bed. The boy was still in a coma, his parents had left for the day, so Jay decided to take over the night watch. He couldn't bear the thought of Cameron being alone here. It was his fault that he was in here, after all. At least he thought so. Jay was brooding over what had happened. He had talked to Cameron's parents earlier, and they had told him a bit more about the background. The Davis family wasn't exactly wealthy, they came from a relatively poor neighborhood, both parents worked two jobs to make ends meet. Cameron, an only child, didn't have the fancy clothes his richer schoolmates wore. He was on Lincoln High on a scholarship, because his grades had been excellent. But he didn't feel like he belonged there. He was an outcast, as he came from another neighborhood, didn't have a lot of money, the wrong clothes, the wrong hobbies – all the things that made it difficult for teenagers to fit in. But his parents hadn't been aware of how bad the situation was. Whenever Cameron tried to talk to his parents – and that didn't happen all too often, because they were working hard and long hours -, they told him what most parents would have told their kid: It isn't that bad, try to be nice, to fit in, concentrate on your grades. It will get better.

Yet, it didn't get better. Jay still wasn't quite sure if the whole "shooting threat" was made up by some nasty student, or if Cameron had in fact entertained these fantasies. But he swore he would try to find out. No matter what had happened, beating this kid into a coma wasn't right, under no circumstances.

And now Jay was sitting by the boy's bed, staring at the blank walls, listening to the beeps of all the devices that checked his vitals. And his thoughts wandered back to when he had been a teenager. Jay had been in a similar situation, both Jay and his brother. Both had attended a school outside of their direct neighborhood. They had been good students and went to this catholic school with a special scholarship. While Will had fit in well in his class, Jay, the stubborn, quiet, brooding and very insecure teenager, had not. He had been just as lonely as Cameron. Yet Jay had never thought about revenge, of shooting or killing anyone, even though he was treated badly. Usually Will had been around, so Jay had been relatively safe most of the time, despite snarky remarks, but more than once had he come home badly beaten, with bruises and torn clothes. And that of course had earned him more trouble with his dad. Jay had suffered, because he didn't want to rely on his brother, often hadn't told him what he endured. And once Will had left school, things became very bad for Jay. More bullying, more fistfights – and more trouble with his dad.

Jay had thought he had overcome all this, but right here right now it all came back. He felt bad for Cameron, and he felt bad for himself.

He was tired, but still didn't want to leave, so he dozed off in his uncomfortable chair. When he woke up it was almost morning, and a nurse stood beside him.

"Detective, please, you should leave now."

Jay looked at the nurse with half-open eyes. He should have known her name, but right now didn't remember it. "Nah, I'll stay."

"No, detective. You go home," she insisted. "We've got your contact details, and I promise we will call you if anything changes."

Jay shrugged, reluctantly stood up and grabbed his jacket. Perhaps it would be advisable if he went home for a shower and fresh clothes before he headed into work. He mumbled something and left the hospital. A brief look on his phone showed him that Hailey had called several times. He felt bad for not having answered. Clearly she worried for him. He would talk to her later in the office.

* * *

At home he headed for the shower directly, stood under the warm water for what felt like an hour. But when he saw his image in the mirror, he knew it would be obvious to everybody that Jay Halstead wasn't feeling well, hadn't slept properly. Perhaps a coffee would help.

So he sat down on his couch with a big pot of coffee, waiting for the morning to come. He must have dozed off, because he flinched badly when the doorbell rang.

He shook his head vigorously to fight off the sleep, headed for the door and opened it.

Hailey.

He smiled instantaneously.

Stepped aside to let her come inside.

His smile froze a bit when he saw Vanessa behind her, too cheery for the morning. Not that he minded Vanessa, he liked her. But right now he would have preferred to see only his friend.

"Ready for another glorious day in the office?" Vanessa asked.

"Guess so," Jay answered, looking at Hailey, who gave him a soft smile. He smiled back at her weakly. "You guys want some bad coffee?"

"No thanks," Hailey answered. "We'll get some good one on the way." She paused, then added, a bit softer, "I just wanted to make sure you're ok."

Jay looked at her, into her eyes, before he finally answered. "I'm fine, Hailey."

Hailey's eyebrows rose almost automatically. I'm fine, Hailey – that was his code for "not good at all". At least that's how she saw it. But with Vanessa around, Hailey didn't want to dig deeper for an answer. She put her hand on his shoulder, leaving it there just a tiny bit longer to be just a casual pat. "I hear you, partner."


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

With a briefly exchanged soft smile they left Jay's apartment. On their way to the district they stopped at a coffee shop and got proper coffee for all three of them.

Jay didn't look all that well, Hailey noticed. But again, with Vanessa in the car she knew better than to ask him. Jay hardly ever opened up to anyone, and never to people he didn't know all that well. So Hailey refrained from asking or doing anything about it. Jay, however, noticed her worried glance, and it felt comforting in a way. It was good to know she cared. He gave her another weak smile.

In the office, all had a lot of paperwork to do, finishing up the last case, working on new cases, so there was no "alone-time" for the two of them in the car.

Jay decided to dig deeper into the Cameron Davis issue, even though they were not investigating the case. But of course, being who he was, Jay couldn't let go. He went downstairs to someone he knew in the tech lab.

"Hey Jake," he greeted his buddy.

"Hey, what's up, Jay." Jake answered. He looked like a typical computer nerd, longish hair, glasses, checkered shirt, denims and old sneakers, very pale. "Hey buddy, you don't look good, you ok?"

Jay scoffed mildly. "I'm fine, just working on a tough case."

"You need help?"

"Yes, I do." Jay nodded. "Listen, there is this strange case I'm working on. Remember the alleged school shooting a few days ago? The one that was actually a false alarm?"

"I do, in fact. What was so strange about it?"

"I don't think there ever was a threat." Jay explained. "The kid was set up."

"How so?"

"Some fellow students claimed that they saw threatening messages on his social media accounts. And there were these messages. Yet the kid claims that he didn't post them. And I happen to believe him."

"Of course he would deny it. Why do you believe him, Jay?"

"Gut feeling." Jay answered, and added quietly, "Jake, I can relate to boy."

Jake gave him an inquiring look, but he knew Jay well enough to not ask. "OK, your gut feeling usually happens to be pretty good. Want me to check if these posts are fake?"

"Yes, please. And, Jake? Would you mind keeping this confidential for the moment?"

Another inquiring look, a nod. "Sure."

They had helped each other out before, so Jake knew this favor would be reciprocated at one time. If necessary at all. He liked Jay, Jay respected him, was always a reliable friend, so helping him was a given.

"Got the details?"

"Sure," Jay handed over a printed paper with Cameron's name, social media profile data and specific posts.

"I'll let you know what I find out, Jay."

"Thanks, bud."

* * *

When Jay returned to the office, everyone but Kim was gone. And she stood up immediately when she saw him.

"Where have you been, Jay?" she asked. "We need to get to a crime scene. Hailey has tried to call you!"

"Sorry," Jay mumbled, checked his phone. "I was still on mute. Let's go."

"Where have you been so long, Jay?"

Jay shrugged. "Checking out something about an old case."

"And you didn't even tell anyone?" Kim asked. "And by the way, you don't look all too well today."

"I'm good, Kim."

"OK," she just said.

* * *

They drove to the crime scene; Jay was driving, while Kim was reading to him all the information they had been given so far. Homicide, two people dead in an old abandoned bar in the South Side. Unfortunately, that wasn't unusual. The officers at the scene found a hint that this might be related to an earlier case, so Intelligence was called.

When they arrived, both Jay and Kim joined the others quietly. Hailey was already busy searching the area, Voight ordered Jay to assist her. She briefly looked up to Jay, gave him a smile.

Hailey explained to him what she had already discovered, then the two of them continued their investigation.

"Where have you been?" Hailey asked.

"Down in the tech lab," Jay answered. "I wanted a friend to check out something."

"Anything I need to know?"

"Not right now, Hailey."

"Fine, later then." Hailey just said.

"So, what did you have your tech guy check?" Hailey asked later, over a cup of coffee.

Jay looked down, wrapped his hands around his mug. "Nothing really."

Hailey rolled her eyes. "Don't give me that, Jay. What is it you are secretly working on? Cameron Davis again?"

Jay looked at her with a frown. "Yeah. I think there's something off."

"What exactly? And what do you think you can do right now?"

"I wonder if he really posted these threats. I just want to find out. The boy deserves justice."

Hailey shook her head. "I know, Jay. But please keep your distance."

"Hm," Jay just replied.

"Jay, be careful," Hailey warned him.

She couldn't say more, because they were called to yet another crime scene and had to run.

_What was going on with Jay?_ Hailey wondered. She decided to check with him after work, again. But just like the day before, she had no chance. When work was done for the day, Jay was gone faster than she could react.

* * *

Jay drove back to Med directly after work, to sit with Cameron again. He was still in a coma, nothing had changed. Cameron's parents were already gone back to work, so that left Jay alone with Cameron once again. Alone with his thoughts. Jay still wanted to find out what happened, but he felt less optimistic than the day before. What if he didn't find out what he expected – that someone else posted these messages? What if Cameron actually had been a threat to his school? What if Cameron never woke up? It was his fault. He, Jay Halstead, should have seen the signs. He shouldn't have let the boy go just like that. He should have helped him. Cameron shouldn't have to go through what he went through at that age.

Jay sat down in the chair, buried his head in his hands. He got more melancholic, felt so sad – for Cameron, for himself. Life was not fair.

He wanted to talk to Hailey – his best friend. But at the same time he didn't. What if she found out what a loser he had been? What if she lost all respect for him, if she found him pathetic? What if she blamed him for what had happened? What if she laughed at his thoughts and fears?

A tiny voice inside him told him that his fears were unsubstantiated, but for some reason there was a much louder voice that yelled "don't tell her, or you will lose her!" And it was so much easier to listen to that loud voice. It would mean not having to explain anything, it would simply mean to keep to himself. Something he was good at.

* * *

Hailey was at home - alone - this evening and was irritated. Why had Jay left so fast? Why didn't he talk to her? And why didn't he pick up his phone? Usually Hailey was quite a patient person, but it started to annoy her that Jay shut her out like that. It wasn't the first time after all, she could read the signs. But she had thought that they had passed that stage of shutting each other out a long time ago. What did he expect her to do? Run after him again and again, getting on his nerves to make him talk to her? Or leave him alone, not care at all? What was going on with him? She couldn't imagine that he suddenly didn't want to be close to her, after all they had been through. So what was it?

She promised herself again to talk to him in the morning. And she needed to make sure they had enough privacy alone to talk. The others were nice, they were all family. But family was one thing, friends another, especially friends as close as Hailey and Jay. She knew Jay well enough to know he would perhaps open up to her, but not to Vanessa or Kim or Kevin or Adam. Perhaps to his brother, but she wasn't even sure about that.

* * *

But all good intentions were void for the next few days. The case Intelligence worked on turned out bigger than expected, and there was a lot of work to do. They were out on the streets from morning to late evening, talking to people, driving from one place to the other. It was like a big knot they tried to disentangle, when one bit was uncovered the next even more confusing bit of information appeared. To make matters worse, Hailey was still partnered with Vanessa and Jay with Kim.

Hailey didn't actually like that, but all protests were ignored. She noticed that Jay looked worse each day, but she didn't have a minute to talk to him. And each day after work Jay vanished into thin air.

* * *

In the meantime, Jay had received some feedback from his friend in the tech lab. It turned out that in fact someone had hacked into Cameron's social media accounts and uploaded fake threats. Jay had been right, it was some kind of sick joke. Unfortunately Jake hadn't been able to find out yet who was behind all this.

At least this gave him something to do, when he was sitting in Cameron Davis' room every night. But checking data on his laptop wasn't enough to keep him from brooding, from bad dreams when he finally dozed off, and from feeling more and more miserable each day.

He had become a familiar face to the nurses in the ICU, they tried to make him a bit more comfortable, brought a pillow, water and sandwiches for the worried looking detective, but that was it. He made it clear he wanted to be left alone, and the nurses respected that, having enough work to do without him.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

That Thursday afternoon Hailey had enough. This thing had been going on for almost two weeks now, which was much too long. When Jay was once again in the tech lab to talk to Jake, she stormed into Voight's office. "Boss, when will I be partnered with Jay again?"

Voight looked up from the paper he was reading. "Excuse me?"

Hailey closed the door behind herself. "I want my partner back."

Voight looked at her, raised eyebrows, but didn't answer. Hailey tried again. She wanted to help Jay but not bring Voight into this.

"Boss, why are Jay and I still split up? We work better together."

"Hailey, it's my job to decide that." Voight interrupted her.

Hailey shook her head vigorously. "I know, boss, but he's my partner."

"Give Vanessa some time to adjust, then we will see." Voight looked back at his paper, signaling Hailey that the discussion was over. Disappointed she left the office, went downstairs. She was angry and worried, and she needed fresh air.

So she and Jay would still not be partners again, for now. In a way she understood that Voight wanted her to be some kind of mentor to Vanessa, and she felt flattered. Still she missed working with Jay. And right now, she was worried about him, and felt that her hands were tied. She needed to do something.

* * *

But again, during the day, there was nothing she could do. The day turned out busy, too busy for personal problems. The unit received information about the location of two suspects, and they were on their way immediately. They drove to an old run-down townhouse, parked their cars, and went towards the building. Jay and Hailey moved around the back, the others approached the front door. Simultaneously the team kicked in both doors and entered. Hailey followed Jay into the back room. It was dark inside, and it took both of them a while to adjust to the lack of light. Carefully they walked across the room, towards the next door. As Jay was about to open the door, they heard Kevin yell at someone, ordering the person to stop. The following noise indicated an arrest. Jay opened the door, slid into the room, looked around.

"Clear," he yelled, then moved forward. Hailey followed him without thinking twice.

From the corner of her eye she noticed something coming closer – and something hit her head. Hailey crashed down on the floor.

"Hailey!" Jay yelled, panic in his voice. She didn't reply, but he needed to take care of the offender first. In one swift motion he ran over to the tall man, smashed his fist into the guy's face, kicked him to the floor, put handcuffs on him. Then – and it seemed to take much too long – he ran back to Hailey, who was still on the ground, not moving.

"My God, Hailey, are you ok?" Jay kneeled beside her. "Hailey, wake up!"

He didn't even notice that Adam and Voight entered, brought the offender away, called the paramedics, and tried to calm him down. Jay was in full panic mode.

"Hailey, I'm so sorry," he murmured. "I'm so sorry I didn't check the room properly. It's my fault."

When a hand touched his shoulder, he flinched and almost hit the person touching him. In the last second, he noticed it was Kim, and he held back.

"Jay, it's fine." Kim said calmly. "See, Hailey opens her eyes. She'll be ok."

Jay turned away, he didn't want Kim to see the tears in his eyes. He stared at Hailey, who in fact opened her eyes slowly.

"You ok?" he whispered.

"Jay," Hailey just said, "I'm ok."

She wanted to sit up, but Jay put his hands on her shoulders, held her down. "Wait for the paramedics, please." He took off his jacket and wanted to put it under her head, but Hailey didn't have that. She held onto his arms and slowly sat up. "It's ok, Jay."

It seemed like only a few seconds until the paramedics arrived and Sylvie Brett was next to Jay and Hailey.

"Okay," Voight said. "Let's bring the offenders into 21st."

He looked at Jay and Hailey, figured Jay would not leave anyway. "Jay, you stay with Hailey. The rest back to the precinct."

To Jay everything was a blur. Due to his carelessness Hailey had been hit, he had endangered his partner, his best friend. She probably had only a concussion, but it could have ended much worse. Because of him! He was shaking.

Hailey was conscious again after just a few seconds. The blow to her head had hurt, but it wasn't too bad. She wouldn't have called the paramedics at all, wanted to get up. But there was Jay, looking as pale as if he had seen a ghost. She could feel that his hands were trembling badly.

When Sylvie Brett wanted to check her head, Hailey was close to pushing her away; she was so worried about Jay right now. But she kept herself together. It wasn't Sylvie's fault.

After the usual questions about dizziness, nausea, headache, and her firm answer that she felt fine, Sylvie recommended that Hailey should stay under supervision at Med overnight, just in case she had a concussion. Hailey wasn't happy about that, but one look at Jay told her that he would not let her go anywhere else. Since he was so agitated, she decided to keep quiet, and she agreed to be taken to the hospital. And perhaps, just perhaps she would have a chance to talk to him, if he came to Med with her. Finally.

* * *

Jay took his car and drove behind the ambulance. He had planned to go to Med anyway, after work – as always. But before he could visit Cameron, he would stay with Hailey. It was his fault that she was injured. And he would make sure she was ok. He was still trembling, cursing to himself all the way to Med. The weight on his heart had doubled now. Not only was Cameron Davis in a coma because he, Jay Halstead, hadn't been able to prevent this – no, his partner was injured because of his carelessness. What was wrong with him?

When he arrived at Med, he ran into the Emergency room, looking for Hailey. Sylvie Brett saw him when he entered the waiting area, held him back. "It's fine, Jay," she said. "Your brother is examining Hailey right now. Wait here with me."

"Don't you have to go back to the firehouse?"

"I will wait until you can go and see Hailey," she said. She liked Jay, and she thought he shouldn't be alone right now. He looked terrible. To distract him, she asked: "So, have you been seeing the boy, Cameron? How is he?"

Jay stared at her. How did she know? "He's still in a coma," he just answered.

"Ethan said that chances are good he will wake up within the next few days."

"Did you check, too?"

"Yes, I did," Sylvie smiled. "I know I'm not supposed to, but… just like you I can't let go."

Jay nodded. "Yeah. But you don't feel responsible." He said very quietly.

"Jay, why do you think you're responsible?"

"Nothing," he mumbled, then looked away. Lucky for him, right in that moment, the door to the ER opened, and he was called inside.

* * *

Will waited for him already.

"How is Hailey?" Jay asked his brother.

"She's fine, Jay," Will answered calmly. "Perhaps a concussion, therefore we will keep her here overnight. But chances are it's nothing. But what's with you? You look like hell."

Jay shook his head, irritated and impatient. "I'm good, Will. Where's Hailey? Can I see her?"

Will raised his eyebrows and shrugged. "April will bring her upstairs, go." He wouldn't get a proper answer out of his brother anyway right now.

In this moment Jay saw April with a wheelchair, and Hailey in the wheelchair. She had successfully resisted to wear a hospital gown, was dressed in sweat pants and a big t-shirt. And she looked more than annoyed. His heart sank. So she was angry with him! He approached the two of them nevertheless, and as soon as Hailey noticed Jay, she smiled.

"Hey, partner," she said. "You're still here!"

"Of course. It's my fault after..."

"Jay! Stop that. It's not your fault." Hailey interrupted him right away. "I should have looked closer too. And it's not important anyway."

Head hanging low, Jay followed April and Hailey upstairs, not speaking another word, just watching from a safe distance, as Hailey was brought to her room. Only when April and another nurse had left, he came a bit closer again, reluctantly.

Slightly impatient, Hailey sat on the side of her bed, grabbed the sleeve of his jacket and pulled Jay closer. "Sit down already," she said with a soft smile.

Jay sat down.

"So, I don't think I belong in a hospital bed," Hailey started. "But it was either this or home with Vanessa watching me. And since the two of us need to talk urgently, I chose this. And don't you dare leave now. You can visit Cameron later, but right now you're staying here."

Jay's eyes widened. "What?"

"Jay, don't do that." Hailey's voice became softer.

Jay looked down, tears welling up in his eyes.

"Jay," Hailey almost whispered his name. "Jay, talk to me."

"Hailey, I'm so sorry," he said. "I…"

He felt ridiculous. His partner was here, injured because of him, and he almost lost it. And she tried to comfort him. Jay wanted to stand up and run, only Hailey's hand still holding on to his sleeve prevented that. He started trembling again, out of shame, embarrassment, guilt, and so much more.

One more attempt to shake off her hand and run, but Hailey didn't have it. She simply pulled him close, wrapped her arms around him and leaned her head against his.

"What's going on, Jay? What's the matter with you, babe?"

That made Jay feel even more ashamed. Why did she even bother? Why was she so kind? He tried to pull back, but Hailey didn't let him. She held him tight for a long time.


	7. Chapter 7

**_Thank you all for your continuing support with this story. It's a bit more intense than what I usually write, and this following chapter is probably the most intense one. But things will get better, I promise. _**

**Chapter 7**

Hailey held Jay tight, ignored his resistance, his trembling, his tears; she just held him. She sensed that there was more to this than just guilt of her being hit, and she intended to get to the bottom of this. Jay had been behaving strangely over the last weeks, and this right now was just the tip of the iceberg.

After a while she started talking again, whispering comforting words in his ear while stroking his hair. Slowly, very slowly the trembling ceased.

Finally, Jay pulled back a bit. Still very much embarrassed, he looked at Hailey. Her eyes looked red and teary too. Had she been crying for him or because of what he did?

"Hailey," he whispered, staring into her eyes. "I'm sorry."

"Jay, stop saying that. There is nothing to feel sorry for." Hailey answered, slowly letting go of him. He looked at her, his head tilted tentatively in her direction.

"Now, are you ready to talk?" she asked softly.

"No," muffled voice.

"Talk, Jay!"

He sighed audibly. "Would you mind if I checked how Cameron is?"

"Jay, you can do that later. We will do that later." Hailey insisted. "Right now, you stay here with me and talk. Cameron is not going anywhere."

Even though he didn't feel like it, Jay couldn't suppress a small grin.

"Hey, a smile. That's good," Hailey remarked. She put her hand on his. "Jay, I'm listening."

"Are you sure you want to listen to me feeling sorry for myself?"

"Jay!"

Jay looked to the ground, swallowed hard. "It's all my fault that Cameron's in a coma," he said.

"Jay, you've said that several times already. But that doesn't make it true. The only ones responsible are the guys who beat him."

"But I should have seen the signs. I should have insisted that he'd be pulled out of this school."

"Why, Jay?"

"Because…" and that was the hardest part. "Because I was in the same situation. I should have known."

"You were in the same situation? Bullied and beaten in school?"

"Yeah," Jay was so embarrassed. "Not into a coma, but… "

"And that makes you an expert?"

Jay stared at Hailey. Not quite the reaction he had expected.

"Jay, let's first talk about Cameron." Hailey decided. "Nobody could have known what would happen. Not me, not you, nobody. And you cannot prevent everything bad that happens. You know that."

"Did I tell you that the posts, the threats, were fake? That he didn't post anything? That he never was dangerous? Some fellow students did it. Just to mess with him, and to get him pulled out of school by the police. The whole school watched, while we arrested him. For nothing!"

"You told me you were looking into this." Hailey nodded.

"And I will find out who is responsible."

"Yes, we will, Jay." Hailey answered. "But still, it's not your fault. And neither is it your fault that this guy hit me."

Jay still stared at Hailey, wanting to believe her, but unsure if he could.

"Jay, you're the best person I know, the most reliable, kindest, sweetest person. You must stop beating yourself up about things you cannot change. You don't have to carry the weight of the world." She moved closer again, put her hands on his cheeks, forcing him to look at her.

"You know what? Let's go and see how Cameron is," Hailey suggested. "And afterwards we will talk about what happened at your school, if you want to."

Jay nodded weakly, secretly glad that Hailey took command. He didn't even consider the fact that Hailey shouldn't walk around, just automatically held out his hand to assist her standing up.

"I'm still a bit shaky, so let me lean on you, ok?" she said with a small smile. All too willingly, Jay put his arm around her waist, held her close. Hailey put her hand on his shoulder, leaned into him. It felt good, reassuring, to have her this close, and despite still feeling sad and guilty, a tiny voice inside told him that it was ok to enjoy this feeling.

Slowly they made their way upstairs to the ICU. The nurses knew Jay already, so they just nodded a greeting, gave him a smile, when he entered the area with Hailey.

The head nurse, Jay vaguely remembered that her name was Nancy or something similar, approached the two of them.

"Jay, good to see you," she said. "We have good news. The doctors will try to wake Cameron up tomorrow, the swelling in his brain has reduced significantly. Chances are good he will recover. But of course, we can only say for sure when he's awake. His parents already know. If everything goes according to plan, he can leave the hospital in a week."

"That's great, thank you," Jay answered. "So good."

Hailey smiled at him. "See, things aren't looking all that bad."

Jay nodded and slowly entered the room. Was it his imagination or did Cameron look in fact a bit better than before? Hailey entered behind him, leaving him a bit of space.

"Hey, Cam," he greeted the unconscious boy like every day. "I heard you're getting better. And we know now you didn't do any of the things you were accused of. I promise, Cam, I will find who did this to you. And I will take care that it never happens again."

Hailey moved next to Jay, put her arm around his waist, leaned against him. Right now, she needed the closeness just like he did. She wanted to show him he was not alone.

"We will take care of that," she added.

"Yes, we will." Jay agreed. "My partner is on your side too, and that means everything will be good again. You know, she's amazing."

Hailey looked up at him, surprised, but didn't comment, just gave him a smile. It seemed that she had in fact broken the wall Jay had built around himself. While this wouldn't automatically solve his problems, it was an important first step.

Both stood silently at Cameron's bed for a while, until Hailey noticed that she was exhausted. She asked Jay to go back to her room, and without any protest he agreed.

* * *

It was late already; the hospital was in night mode. Not a lot of people to be seen, lights were turned down low. Hailey lay down in her bed, Jay sat down in the armchair next to her bed, put his feet up on the tiny coffee table.

"Jay, you can go home now, you know?"

"No way. I won't leave you, partner. And this chair is quite comfortable. I'll be fine."

Hailey shrugged. She knew when not to argue with Jay. "OK, then tell me about your school days."

"You should sleep now."

"Jay, you want me to ask your brother?"

"Hailey! I promise we'll talk about this. But not tonight. We're both tired."

"Right. Then tomorrow after work. No Molly's, no Vanessa, just the two of us. And no sneaking out of 21st."

Jay nodded. "Fine, I promise."

Content, Hailey leaned back and closed her eyes. She and Jay were slowly getting back to normal. And if it had been necessary to take a blow to the head, it had been worth it.

* * *

Even though she hadn't expected it, Hailey fell asleep immediately. But she didn't sleep for long. She woke up when she heard strange, whimpering sounds. At first, she didn't know what it was, where she was. Then she remembered that she was in a hospital bed. And that Jay was with her. The sounds came from Jay. In the pale light that fell into her room she could see that Jay was sleeping very uneasily, he was moving frantically, hands opening and closing nervously. And he was moaning and crying - a sound she would never have expected to hear from Jay. Her heart almost broke at the sound. He had a nightmare, and it seemed to be a very bad one. She had thought that after he had been to therapy a few years ago, he had defeated his demons, but clearly this wasn't true. She wasn't sure at first if she should try to wake him up, because often nightmares ended as soon as they began. But the moaning and crying didn't stop. To Hailey it felt like hours, but in reality, it were probably only a few minutes. Slowly Hailey got up and cautiously approached Jay. She took care that she didn't startle him too badly, as she didn't want to get hit by accident.

"Jay," she whispered softly. "Jay, wake up." She crouched at his side, put a hand on his shoulder. No reaction.

"Jay!" a bit louder.

Jay seemed to calm down a little bit, but not completely.

She couldn't endure this any longer, so Hailey squeezed herself into the armchair next to Jay and pulled him into a firm embrace. She pressed his head against her chest, held him very tight. "Shh, Jay. All is good. I'm here, babe." She kept whispering soothing words, hardly realizing what she said. And it worked. In his sleep Jay wrapped his arms around her, and in the end, he calmed down and opened his eyes.

It took him a while to realize where he was, and who it was that held him tight. He felt embarrassed – he felt embarrassed way too often at the moment – but at the same time it was the best feeling he could imagine having Hailey this close. Reluctantly he pulled back a bit, looked into her face.

"What's going on?" he mumbled.

"You had a nightmare, Jay. You were crying." Hailey answered quietly. "You ok now?"

Jay nodded.

"Do you remember your nightmare?"

He nodded again, as it slowly dawned on him.

"Want to talk?"

Without waiting for an answer, she stood up, pulled him up with her. Then she went back to her bed, sat down on one side against the headrest, patted on the bed. Jay sat down next to her without hesitation.

"I'm listening, Jay," she just said.

Jay closed his eyes, leaned his head back, sighed. He wasn't ready for that, yet he knew he would never be ready. These demons were buried even deeper than the ones from Afghanistan, and more mixed with a feeling of shame, of being small and insignificant; it was much more difficult for him to open this part of his mind.

One more sigh, and he started talking. About his school, his feelings of loneliness, of being an outcast. And of the bullying, which had gotten worse once Will had left. His issues with his father, and his own feelings of not being good enough, strong enough.

Hailey didn't interrupt him once, just listened. What Jay told her made her think. To a lot of people his experience might have sounded harmless, as he had never actually been physically hurt as bad as Cameron, and he had grown into a successful, self-confident man. But to Jay it had been a terrible time, and he had never had the chance to make his peace with it. Until now. She wanted nothing more than to comfort him, knowing all too well this wouldn't be enough. He probably needed more therapy, now that it had all come up. Hailey could listen, but she was well aware that she wouldn't be able to help to the extent that was necessar

* * *

Eventually Jay stopped talking, looked at her expectantly.

Hailey saw tears in his eyes and was surprised to notice that she had been crying too. She didn't find the right words, so she just caressed his cheek, wiped away the tears with her thumb. That seemed enough for him. They just leaned their heads against each other's and after a while Hailey fell asleep.

Jay couldn't sleep anymore, and once he noticed that Hailey was fast asleep, he quietly climbed out of the bed, took Hailey in his arms and laid her down, covered her with the blanket, and sat back in the armchair. Even though he was wide awake, he felt a lot better than before. It had been good to talk to Hailey, to tell her everything. He watched her sleep and didn't even notice that he smiled.


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

Hailey was awake early, when the day at Med started. She looked at Jay and saw that he was watching her.

"Hey," he said. "How are you feeling?"

"I'm pretty good," she answered. "How about you? You must be so tired."

"Not too bad." He paused. "Hailey…"

"Yes, Jay?"

"Hailey… thank you."

She smiled at him. "Anytime, Jay."

* * *

Hailey insisted on leaving Med as soon as possible, so it was still early in the morning when Jay brought her home. They had agreed that he would pick her up an hour later, so that both could take a shower and change into fresh clothes. Hailey was determined to go to work, and Jay knew better than to discuss this with her. After last night he would have said yes to anything she said. And he wanted her in the office with him today. Or to be honest, he wanted her around, no matter where he was. For the first time in quite a while he felt almost good again.

* * *

Jay hurried, quickly took a shower, dressed, and was on his way back to Hailey's place.

He had forgotten, though, that Vanessa still lived with Hailey, so he wasn't alone with Hailey. But during work he didn't want to touch any sensitive subjects anyway.

Out of habit, Jay had stopped on the way to Hailey's place and had brought a coffee for her, as usual forgetting Vanessa.

As soon as they arrived in the office, Hailey went into Voight's office. "Boss, can I talk to you, please?"

"What's up?" Voight looked up from his papers. "Shouldn't you be home recovering?"

"I'm good, Sarge." Hailey closed the door. "I need a favor."

"Your partner?"

"That too." Hailey admitted. "Actually, Jay and I need to investigate something off the books. And now that these two guys were arrested yesterday, we should have the time."

Voight raised his eyebrows. "What would that be?"

"Could we please talk about this later?"

"You want me to trust you to run an off-the-book investigation for Halstead?"

"Yes, Sarge. Jay's gut feeling has been spot-on so often, and I want to help."

"Any connection to his strange behavior recently?"

Hailey nodded.

"OK, I have an idea what this is all about. Go." Voight agreed. "But keep your phones on. When we have a real case, I want you up here immediately."

"Thanks, boss."

* * *

Hailey turned around and left Voight's office, almost running to Jay's desk. She took her chair and sat down next to him.

"What's up?" he asked almost casually.

"I talked to Voight," she said.

"I saw that."

"Hey, back to sassy comments already?"

"Only with you."

She smiled. "Listen, we've got the go ahead, we can look into your case, as long as nothing else pops up."

"How did you do that?"

"No idea, I just asked. Want to go downstairs and talk to your tech guy again?"

They both stood up and headed downstairs, followed by the curious stares of their colleagues.

* * *

Jake, the tech-guy, looked up from his work when he saw Jay and Hailey approaching.

"You brought back-up?" he asked.

"Yeah," Jay smiled. "You know Hailey? My partner."

"Yes, we've met." Jake answered, nodded towards Hailey. "You look better now, Jay."

"Did you find out anything else, Jake?" Jay wasn't quite in the mood for small talk.

"Come here and have a look."

All three sat down behind Jake's computer screens, and Jake explained what he had found. The threats in Cameron's social media accounts were not posted from the same IP addresses as the posts that were clearly Cameron's. Of course, he could have used other Wi-Fi connections just for these posts, but it was highly unlikely. The IP addresses could be traced back to two coffee shops, but not individual people.

"So, how do we proceed now?" Jay asked. "We can check out these coffee shops, see who frequents them."

"I could get you yearbook photos from Lincoln High." Jake volunteered.

"And compare that to the camera footage from these coffee shops." Hailey added.

"Do you have a warrant for that?" Jake wanted to know.

"No, and we won't get one, I'm afraid." Hailey added. "But we can check with the school principal or the teachers and see if they have any idea who the main bullies were. And then we can talk to the people in the coffee shops. The old-fashioned way."

"Perhaps they volunteer security footage." Jay said. "Jake, do we have the exact time when these threats were posted?"

"Sure, I'll send you a list."

* * *

When they were back on their way to the office, Hailey looked at Jay. He seemed to be almost back to his old self, active, motivated. This was so good to see. But of course, she didn't let that fool her. He still had these problems and needed to solve them.

Jay noticed that she watched him. "What?"

"Nothing," Hailey replied with a soft smile. "You seem to be better."

"Thanks to you, partner."

"You're welcome, babe." Oops, did she say that out loud? She blushed, eyed Jay cautiously.

She thought she detected a small curious frown on Jay's face, but he didn't say a word.

Jay noticed of course, but he wasn't sure how to react. Was that just a slip of the tongue, or was there more? He wanted to know, but at the same time he didn't want to know. Why would Hailey care for him like that, especially now when he was at his worst.

* * *

Back upstairs they checked the data Jake had sent them and made them available on their tablets. It was still relatively early, so they decided to visit Lincoln High School again.

It felt good to Jay to finally do something. He was extremely motivated and couldn't sit still. Hailey noticed how his behavior had changed over the last twenty-four hours. He smiled a bit, was approachable, discussed things with her. She was glad they had talked the night before, so glad. Perhaps he had realized that it helped to share his worries, his burdens with her, and that she wouldn't despise him for being human, for having issues.

* * *

In the car, on their way to Lincoln High, Hailey decided to take the next step.

"So…" she started.

"What?"

"Jay, you promised we'd continue talking. You promised to talk."

"Yes?"

"So, what would you think if I invited myself to your place for the weekend?" She swallowed hard, it was a bold move after all. "I'll gladly take the couch, of course. And bring drinks."

"The whole weekend?" Jay was surprised but noticed that his heart was suddenly beating faster. And why was it suddenly so hot in the car?

"I'm still worried about you, Jay. I don't feel comfortable leaving you alone. I'll go home the minute I get on your nerves, I promise." Hailey's heart was beating faster too. She felt as if she was just asking her high school crush out. But this was different – or so she told herself. This was about Jay's demons. "This way we can make sure we're actually alone. I mean, Vanessa is great, but I don't think you want her in on this." Whatever *this* was.

"Sure," Jay suddenly was very insecure. He wouldn't let that go south, couldn't. "Sounds perfect, really. Just you and me. Yes, I'd love that."

He smiled, and Hailey smiled right back at him.

Hailey was the only person with whom he could imagine sharing his personal demons, except *maybe* for a shrink. And it would be helpful. She always made him feel better. Still, he hoped the weekend would bring more than just some kind of partner therapy. Was she blushing? No, he surely imagined that because he was suddenly so nervous. Strange, until last night he had been a mess, and suddenly everything seemed so much better. The hole he had buried himself in wasn't as deep anymore, he could see a tiny ray of sunshine again.

* * *

Jay called the school principal Veronica Summers when they were on their way, and she was happy to meet with the two detectives. They could meet her immediately in her office.

"Ms. Summers," Jay started. "Thank you for meeting with us."

"It's Veronica, Detective. And of course I want to meet with you. If in fact some other students framed Cameron, we need to find out what happened. But it sounds like such a small issue for your unit."

"It's a case of personal interest," Hailey said. "After all, we responded first to the case. Do you know more about Cameron? Who are his friends? Who are the ones he doesn't get along with?"

"I did some digging and talked to his teachers. It seems he doesn't actually have friends here in school. To most he was more or less invisible. But there's one group of kids that seem to dislike him, bully him. I'm so sorry we didn't do anything about it before. The problem is that Cameron never once complained. He just endured everything."

"Do you have names for us?" Jay wanted to know.

"Yes, I thought you might want that." She handed Jay a list with names, birth dates, photos, even addresses. "I am aware that this might not be legal, as you don't have a warrant. But right now I don't care. This school should not cover up for bullies and brutality. Please find who is responsible."

"We will do our best," Haileypromised.

They talked a while longer, about the school, the students, especially Cameron, before Jay and Hailey left. They would cross check this list with the data they had from Jake's investigation, and then pay the coffee shops a visit.

* * *

"So how do you want to play this, Jay?" Hailey asked back in the car. "I mean, if we find out who's responsible, but obtained this without warrants, we cannot arrest them."

"We can bring them in based on what we learned in school, from Veronica. And perhaps one of them, if it's more than one person, has some kind of conscience and talks to us. I don't know if all of this is enough for an arrest or a trial, but I want to help Cameron. I want to find out for him."

Hailey put her hand on his arm. "I know, Jay. And we will do that." She stopped for a moment. "Hey, want to stop by at Med? They wanted to wake Cameron up."

Jay smiled thankfully. Hailey never forgot anything. "Yes, we should. But let's check out the data and the coffee shops first, ok? Dr. Abrams promised to let me know if anything happens. And I'd like to find out as much as possible first."


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

They drove to the first of the two coffee shops, from which the fake posts originated, and wanted to compare data there over a coffee. They could check with the staff right there if they found something.

Once they had sat down next to each other, they looked over the list of names they had received from Veronica Summers, looked up the yearbook photos of the 12 students. Jay was sure that he recognized some of the faces from when he had been at Lincoln High before. They had been close when Cameron had been beaten up. Quickly Hailey compiled one page with all 12 photos, which they wanted to show to the people working here. But first they finished their coffees.

"It's good to be working together again," Hailey suddenly said, staring into her mug.

"Yes," Jay smiled. "It is. I missed that."

They shared a smile.

When the waiter came to their table, Jay held him back, looked at his name tag. "Franco?"

"Yes, what can I do for you?" the young man answered.

"We're from Chicago PD, and we would need your help." Jay explained. "Do you have a few minutes?"

"It's pretty busy, but ok." He sat down at their table. "What can I do?"

Hailey placed her tablet in front of him. "Do you know if one of these guys has been here recently?"  
Franco looked at the photos. "Maybe." He pointed at two faces. "These look kind of familiar."

"Do you know when?" Jay asked. "Or do you know if you have surveillance cameras here so that we could check?"

"I don't know exactly when, but I think I saw them." Franco answered. "And I'm not in charge of the cameras. You could ask my boss over there."

"Thank you," Hailey answered. "You've been very helpful. We will check with your boss regarding the camera footage."

Jay made a note. Franco had identified two students called Jonathan McQuarrie and Marc Williams.

* * *

Meanwhile Hailey went across the room to the man Franco had identified as his boss, and with her widest smile asked him about the surveillance footage.

"Do you have a warrant for that?" he asked, just like Hailey had expected.

She smiled again. "Unfortunately no, because we just found out that we need the footage. But you know, you would be immensely helpful. And we could close our case faster, which would help me with my boss." She quickly looked at Jay.

The man seemed to think about it for a while. "Is it really that urgent?"

"Yes, it is." Another sweet smile. Hailey knew exactly what she was doing.

And it worked. "OK, I can copy all we have on a flash drive. Just don't tell anyone."

"I won't. Thank you so much." Hailey handed a flash drive over, quickly turned to Jay and winked. He could barely suppress a grin, as he had heard and seen how she obtained the data. Right there he was so proud of her.

* * *

"You are good," Jay said to Hailey, when they were back in the car – with the flash drive and the camera footage of the last two weeks.

Hailey laughed. "And this is still a surprise to you?"

Jay laughed too. It felt good. "You never cease to amaze me."

Hailey looked at him, but quickly looked away, because she blushed visibly.

* * *

In the second coffee shop it worked similarly. They showed the photos to a waiter, who identified the same two students. Only this time Jay obtained the camera footage, as the responsible person was a young woman. She reacted very favorably to Jay's charming smile, and it didn't take long before he had the footage.

Hailey called Voight and agreed with him that they wouldn't return to the district but check out the footage over the weekend. She wanted to go to Med with Jay, as she had promised, to check on Cameron.

* * *

They arrived at Med in the early afternoon and went to the ICU right away. Cameron's parents were already there, talking to Dr. Abrams. Jay and Hailey waited outside, as they didn't want to interrupt. But as soon as Ms. Davis saw the two of them, she left the room and approached them. "Detective Halstead, so good to see you." She said. "Come inside please."

"I…" Jay started to protest.

"Come inside, Detective," she insisted.

He looked at Hailey, who gave him a slight nod and took his hand in hers. Together they entered the small room.

Cameron had been taken off the respirator, he looked as if he were sleeping, not as lifeless and pale as before.

Dr. Abrams didn't acknowledge the two detectives, but instead continued talking to Cameron's parents. He told them that Cameron was not in a medical induced coma anymore, and that things looked promising. There didn't seem to be any permanent brain damage, and it was only a question of hours before he would wake up. Once he was awake and stable, he would be transferred into a regular room and stay there for approximately one more week, if nothing else happened.

* * *

Once Dr. Abrams had left, Ms. Davis turned to Jay and Hailey again.

"Detectives, thank you so much for coming," she said.

"It's Jay," he just answered. "I'm so glad that Cam is getting better."

"I'm Anne, and my husband is Jason," she answered almost automatically. "The nurse said that you came to see our son regularly. You don't know how much that means to us."

"He's a good kid, I just wanted to make sure…" Jay stuttered.

"You might be interested to know that we are closer to finding out who did this to Cameron," Hailey said calmly.

"Really?" Jason Davis turned around. "You are working on that?"

"Yes," Jay answered quietly. "I promised."

"Thank you so much." Jason said, clearly moved. "So our boy didn't do anything wrong?"

"No," Hailey said. "He was the victim. And were it not for Jay, we still wouldn't know. He didn't let go."

Anne Davis took Jay's hands into hers, unable to say anything.

After a while Jay went over to Cameron's bed, briefly touched the boy's arm. "Hey Cam," he whispered. "You heard? All will be good." He stood there for a while, staring at the boy, until finally he felt Hailey's hand taking his again. "Let's go, Jay. Let's go home."

* * *

They drove to Hailey's place first, so that Hailey could pack a bag for the weekend. Jay was still overwhelmed by the thought that she would spend the weekend with _him_, that she wanted to watch out for _him_, to be there for _him_, that he meant so much to her that she was willing to sacrifice her weekend. Therefore, while Hailey was in her bedroom, packing, he just stood in her kitchen motionless, as if he were afraid that she might change her mind if he said or did anything wrong.

But Hailey didn't change her mind. She came back downstairs with a large overnight bag, grabbed a bottle of good whisky, two six-packs of beer, put them into another bag, then took a piece of paper and wrote a note to Vanessa, telling her she would be "away" for the weekend. And before Vanessa could arrive and ask questions Hailey wasn't ready to answer yet, they were back outside on their way to Jay's place.

* * *

In Jay's apartment, Jay put Hailey's bag in his bedroom, while she placed the beer in the fridge and made coffee. They sat down on the couch with the coffee, the notes, the tablets and the phones and scrolled through what they had found. They decided to check the video footage over the next two days, if they started this late in the afternoon, they wouldn't be done before morning.

After a while, Jay put his tablet on the table. "Want to order some pizza? I'm sorry, I don't have that much food in the fridge."

"Pizza's fine, my treat," Hailey agreed quickly.

Jay shook his head. "Definitely not. I won't let you pay."

It didn't take long before the pizza was there, and they had it with a beer and switched on the TV. After the intense day they needed to unwind a bit. Hailey still planned to get Jay to talk again, but she saw that he needed a break, he needed to feel carefree and happy before once again confronting his demons.

Jay was grateful for this break, for just being here in his living room, on his couch, with Hailey. It had been a good day, a successful day, and he could almost forget the sleepless nights.

But Hailey didn't have that, of course. Later they switched from beer to whisky, and sat close to each other, their heads leaning on each other's.

"Why didn't your brother help?" Hailey suddenly asked.

"I didn't tell him."

"Didn't he notice?"

"Mostly not. Because I didn't want him to." Jay paused, breathed hard, and then decided to be completely honest with Hailey. "I didn't want him to know what a loser I was. It was painful enough how it was. But thinking that my brother would make fun of me? Or tell my dad? No, thanks."

"But Will isn't a bully, why would he make fun of you?" Hailey put her hand on his leg, almost automatically. "Or was he that different back then?"

Jay shrugged. "Probably not. But I wanted to handle it on my own."

"As always. You haven't changed in that respect, Jay Halstead."

"You think?"

Hailey tilted her head, looked at him. "Well, you've changed a bit. I give you that. You trust me."

"Yes, I do," Jay whispered, his voice suddenly hoarse.

"That's good."

"You know that I've always thought my dad didn't care about me? Wasn't interested in what I did? That I thought I was a failure in his eyes?"

Hailey nodded. That had been obvious after his dad had died.

"I've always thought I wasn't good enough. Only when he was dead, I found that he had cared. That he had saved articles from the paper, photos. But back then... Will was the golden boy, the future doctor... and I joined the Rangers."

"Jay, how's that not good enough? You served our country. And you came home."

"I joined the Rangers to escape from home, from myself," Jay admitted. "But you can't escape yourself."

"You don't have to escape yourself, babe," Hailey said softly. "Because you're an amazing human being. You're a great cop, you're compassionate, kind..." _and the most handsome, most lovable, sexiest human I could imagine_, the added in her mind._ What? No, Hailey, don't go that way. Not today when Jay's so vulnerable. If you push him now, you will regret it later._

She stopped talking, looked at him, caressing his leg lost in thought. Jay didn't seem to notice, or he didn't mind. He put his arm around her shoulder, pulled her a bit closer.

"Hailey, I don't know what I would do without you."


	10. Chapter 10

_**Thanks so much for bearing with me through this story. The tone will be a bit lighter from here - and for the remaining chapters. Enjoy**_

**Chapter 10**

As agreed, Hailey slept on Jay's couch, which was comfortable enough for her. But just like the night before she woke up to the sounds of moaning and crying. This time it didn't take her long to realize that it was Jay, having another nightmare. And this time she didn't hesitate for a second. She got up, went into Jay's bedroom, sat down on the side of his bed, and started caressing his hair. "Jay, it's ok. Everything is ok. You're safe."

It took a while before he calmed down, and he woke up.

"Hailey," he whispered, pulling himself up and let himself fall into her embrace.

She held him tight, continued to caress his hair.

"Why are you still here?" Jay asked when he had regained his composure.

"Because I…" Hailey stopped. _No, don't say that_. "Because I care for you, Jay. Because you're worth it."

He shook his head. "No, I am not," he replied with a muffled voice. _Because all I can think if now is that I want more, so much more. But I don't want to push you away._

"Yes, Jay, you are." Hailey's voice went all soft, and she placed a kiss on his forehead. It took all her strength not to tell him how much he actually meant to her. But right here right now was not the place and time. "Want to come back to the living room and chat for a while?"

"Yeah," he replied weakly. "That would be great."

* * *

So back on the couch it was. Jay sat down, and Hailey went to the kitchen, checking Jay's cabinets. Yes, all there. A few minutes later she returned to the living room with two mugs of hot chocolate. Jay looked at her with a questioning smile.

"Best comfort in the world," she smiled back at him.

They sat down next to each other, one blanket wrapped around them, and silently drank their hot chocolate. When Jay was done, he put his mug on the table. "So right, best comfort ever – especially with you right here."

Hailey just smiled. She had been aware that the weekend wouldn't exactly be about sleeping regularly, and that was ok. She was ready for it. Ready for long nights, talking, being together, sharing good and bad stuff.

"You know," she started. "I cannot imagine in my wildest dream how a guy like you could ever have been on the receiving end of bullying. "

"Would you picture me on the other end?" Jay tried a lame joke.

"No, definitely not," Hailey answered immediately. "Not you."

"Back then wasn't who I am now. I was an insecure teenager, out of place in this posh school in another neighborhood with my cheap clothes, a loner. I couldn't connect to the other guys in my school. Will was more at ease with everybody, but I … I just felt out of place. And that made me the perfect victim."

Hailey slowly shook her head. "Oh my, Jay. I don't even know what to say. I wish I had known you back then."

"Oh, I'm glad you didn't," he couldn't help saying. "Then you would never be here."

"You think so little of me?"

"I'm sure you were as amazing back then as you are now. Way too amazing to engage with me."

"I wish I could convince you otherwise," Hailey answered, then smiled. "But you know, it's not important anyway. I know you now – and I am here with you."

"Yes, you are."

"Want to watch a movie?"

"Yeah."

Hailey grabbed the remote, switched on the TV, and they agreed on an old black and white romantic comedy, which was followed by a sci-fi B-picture from the 60s. Easy to watch, nothing to think about when you're tired anyway.

In the end both fell asleep, half sitting half lying on the couch under the one blanket. And Jay slept better than before, without nightmares.

* * *

Hailey woke up first, to the sounds of a cartoon show for little kids. It was almost noon, but that didn't matter. Much to her own surprise, she wasn't the slightest bit disoriented, nor did she feel stiff from sleeping in such a weird position half leaning on Jay, their bodies so close. She closed her eyes for another minute and allowed herself all the feelings she had for her partner and best friend. Something had to happen soon between the two of them, that much she knew. Despite all the demons he had been fighting, there was more to their relationship. An attraction she couldn't deny. And she was pretty sure it wasn't one-sided. Jay was usually good at hiding his feelings, but not that good.

When she felt him stir, she opened her eyes and slowly pulled her arms away from his body.

"Morning," he mumbled.

"Hey," she just answered.

They looked at each other and slowly, awkwardly moved to a sitting position.

"I guess asking you if you slept well would be kind of pointless," Jay grinned weakly.

"You know, I slept very well," Hailey answered with a smile. "Comfortable… your couch."

"Thank you, Hailey."

Instinctively she ruffled his hair and kissed his cheek, before she quickly got up and headed for the shower.

Jay remained on the sofa a while longer, unable to suppress a smile.

* * *

While Hailey was in the shower, he made a phone call, trying to pull some strings. He wasn't sure if it worked, but it was worth trying.

Hailey came out of the shower quickly, dressed only in her underwear and a t-shirt, hair still damp. Jay's heart almost skipped a beat. She looked gorgeous. He wanted to tell her how he felt, he wanted it so bad, but he was scared that if he did it now, she would react however she might react just out of pity. So he forced himself to look away and hurried into the bathroom himself. He needed to cool down. Yes, he knew something had to happen soon, he would explode if this continued. Despite his issues, he needed to do something.

Jay was still in the bathroom, when his phone rang.

"Jay, that's your phone!" Hailey yelled.

"Who is it?"

"Your brother."

"Could you answer, please?"

OK, if he wanted that. "Sure."

Hailey picked up the phone and had a very surprised Will on the other line.

"Hailey? What?"

"Relax, Will." Hailey just answered as calmly as possible. "Jay can't answer right now, he asked me to check."

"Sure," Will answered, still a bit irritated. "Could you tell Jay that Cameron's awake. He might want to come and see him."

"That's great news," Hailey answered. "I will let him know as soon as…" she could only just stop herself from saying _he's out of the shower_, so she continued "as he's free. See you later." She ended the call, hardly unable to suppress a nervous giggle.

Of course Jay entered the kitchen in exactly that moment. "What's so funny?"

"Nothing, really. Your brother was a bit surprised I picked up your phone."

Jay grinned. "Yeah, I can imagine that." He wasn't sure, but he assumed that Will suspected about his feelings for his partner. "What did he want?"

"Cam's awake."

"That's great news. Want to go to Med with me after breakfast?"

"Of course."

They decided to stop by a diner for a late breakfast, and Hailey watched Jay vanish into his bedroom. No, she DID NOT regret that he had to put a shirt on, she kept telling herself.

* * *

It was already noon, when they had their late breakfast in a diner around the corner. Both of them were surprisingly relaxed and despite Jay's problems and the underlying tension they felt completely at ease with each other. Therefore, it was the most normal thing in the world that Hailey was with Jay, when he visited Cameron in Med. She kept back a bit, let Jay do the talking, but she was in the room. Just in case.

Cameron was surprised to see the Detective. His parents had told him already that Jay had been visiting all the time, and that he had found out the truth, so he was obviously happy to see Jay.

"Detective," he said, his voice still hoarse from the respirator.

"I'm Jay," Jay answered with a smile. "Hey, Cam. Glad to see you're awake and ok."

"Yeah, me too," Cameron answered. "My mom told me you looked into this whole mess?"

Jay nodded. "Yes, my partner here and I we checked everything. I told you I wanted to help."

He gave a brief summary of what they had found so far, without giving any names of the suspects, of course. And Cameron nodded.

"Sounds very much true. What am I doing in that school? I should never have gone there."

"That's right," Jay said. "But we will find a solution, I promise."

Cameron looked at him curiously. "How do you want to do that?"

"Let us finish our investigation first, then we'll see."

Jay and Hailey grabbed two chairs and sat down with Cameron. Now that the basic issues had been addressed, the boy needed some distraction. They chatted for a while, and both Jay and Hailey were pleasantly surprised how different Cameron behaved now. He felt comfortable and safe with the two Detectives; and he was a funny, witty, and very clever young man.

When they noticed that Cameron got tired, they both stood up. Hailey said good-bye and left the room, just in case Cameron wanted to tell Jay something that was not for her ears.

Cameron, however, just looked at Jay. "I can't thank you enough."

"It's fine, Cam." Jay just answered. "I needed to do this. I shouldn't have let you return to this school in the first place."

"Not your fault," Cameron replied, then after a brief pause asked, "Hey, is she your girlfriend?"

Jay quickly looked in Hailey's direction, "Nah…"

"She should be."

"Yeah," Jay agreed. "She should."


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11**

Jay and Hailey spent the afternoon going through the video footage they had obtained the day before. It took them several hours to go through two weeks of video material, and it was tiresome. But in the end, it was successful. It turned out that the two boys, who had been identified by the waiters, had in fact been in the coffee shops at the times when the threats had been posted. There was even one brief moment in which one could see one of them, Jonathan McQuarrie, with a laptop. Of course, that was no actual evidence. It was enough for Jay, however. He was sure that these kids were the ones that created all that trouble, and he was also sure they were in on the beating. Now all he needed to have was a plan. He could not actually arrest the two, and there was not enough evidence for a trial anyway.

They decided to work out a plan the next day, it was already late, and both were hungry. They had stopped at a grocery store earlier, and now they stood in the kitchen cooking dinner together.

As long as he was busy, Jay noticed, he was not thinking about his old demons. Yet he knew that he would need to face them eventually. They wouldn't go away just like that.

Therefore, when they were sitting at Jay's small kitchen table with their dinner, Jay looked at Hailey. "I will get an appointment for therapy on Monday," he informed her.

Hailey gave him her signature smile. "That's good, Jay."

"Yeah. Those demons, I need to defeat them. You taught me that."

"I did?" Another curious smile.

Jay simply nodded.

There was silence for a moment, a silence that out of a sudden made Hailey nervous. She quickly excused herself and went to the bathroom. She threw some cold water in her face, saw the bewildered look in her eyes. Yes, she cared for this man, she cared for him so much more than she wanted to admit to herself.

* * *

When she came back into the living room, she found Jay sitting on the couch, staring into space. Quietly she approached him, sat down close to him and put her hand on his thigh.

"Jay?" she whispered.

He didn't react.

"Jay?" a bit louder now. Slowly she caressed his thigh.

He turned his head and looked at her. He had tears in his eyes.

"I'm sorry, Hailey, I'm still a mess."

Hailey shook her head, caressed his cheek with the other hand. "That's fine, Jay. We'll get through this."

_We, she said We!_

Their faces were close, very close. Hailey felt her heart beat faster.

"Jay!" – "Hailey!" both said at the same time. Jay's eyes widened – _this was it, _he realized. _It was actually happening._

Hailey saw the look of amazement in his green eyes, it probably mirrored her own feelings. And before she could convince herself that this was a bad idea, she kissed him. She just had to.

When Jay felt her soft lips on his, his body reacted before he could think. His lips opened, he kissed her back, ever so softly, wrapped his arms around her. It felt like a dream come true.

"Is this a bad idea?" he asked when their kiss was finally over.

Hailey smiled. "Yes, it probably is."

"Who cares," Jay answered. "I've been known for my bad decisions."

"The best bad decision I can imagine," Hailey grinned and kissed him again.

"And there's something else," Jay said.

"What?"

"We are not sleeping on this couch again tonight."

Hailey stared at him for a split-second, then laughed. That was definitely a very good idea.

Her hands pulled his shirt out of his denims hastily, and she felt his hands slipping under her shirt. It felt so good, his warm, strong hands on her skin. It was even better than she had imagined.

Jay stood up, pulled off his shirt, then took Hailey in his arms and carried her into the bedroom. He didn't care if it was the worst idea, he wanted Hailey more than anything.

Was it possible to be this happy with all that was going on?

* * *

Hailey woke up in the early morning hours; Jay had another nightmare. Without hesitation she pulled his uneasy body closer, caressed his hair softly.

"Shh, babe," she whispered. "It's ok. Everything is ok, Jay. I'm here with you. And I'm not leaving."

When Jay woke up, she could feel his familiar embarrassment. "It's ok, babe," she repeated.

Jay didn't answer, he was still trembling slightly and only slowly calmed down. "When will this end?" he mumbled. "The night was so amazing, and still…"

"Jay, it will end, but it takes time," Hailey comforted him. "We're working on it."

"I'm so sorry."

"Babe, there is nothing to be sorry about," Hailey replied. "Nothing at all."

He pulled her closer, wanted to feel her body close to his, he wanted to get over this nightmare and to feel good again. And it helped. Her smooth skin, her hands caressing him, her lips softly kissing his, it helped him to pull out of the darkness. He hadn't expected it, but his body quickly reacted to feeling her so close, and soon the darkness was replaced by love and passion.

* * *

When Jay woke up around noon, he still held Hailey close. Usually he needed his space, but this night had been different. He needed to feel her, and she seemed to need the closeness too. He buried his nose in her hair, enjoyed the feeling of his skin against hers. Yes, he would defeat his demons, he would do it for her. Hailey was worth his every effort. Beautiful, clever, sweet, strong, sexy Hailey.

* * *

Hailey was relaxed and happy. It had been a good decision to spend the weekend with Jay, and to act on her feelings. She hadn't intended to sleep with Jay, or to even show him that she was in love with him, but it had happened, and it was good. There would be problems, Jay's demons were still there, and she had her ghosts to fight as well, but that was fine. She knew the two of them would manage. And Jay was not only his demons, he was this great guy, sweet, funny, passionate, intelligent, handsome; and he loved her just like she loved him.

* * *

They spent most of the day in bed, sleeping, talking, even planning their next steps regarding Cameron's bullies – and of course making love.

The next morning, they drove to the station together, not caring a bit what anyone thought of them arriving together. They were in the office early, as they wanted to talk to Voight as soon as possible. He wasn't in the office yet, Jay and Hailey were alone. They had agreed on what to do about Cameron's bullies, and right now they prepared what to tell Voight.

Vanessa was the first to show up, she gave them a curious look.

"How was your weekend?" she asked Hailey. "What did you do?"

"Weekend was good," Hailey answered, unwilling to give away further information. Jay mumbled something, and Hailey gave him a grin. "How was your weekend, Jay?" she asked provocatively, fighting a giggle.

"Oh, the weekend was really good, spent it in great company," he answered, grinning to himself.

Vanessa looked a bit irritated, but she knew better than to ask Jay for details. He had been so moody recently, and she didn't know him well enough yet.

As soon as Voight was in the office, both Jay and Hailey went to his office. When Hailey was passing Vanessa's desk, Vanessa briefly touched her arm. "You know, I'm not stupid, don't you?"

Hailey pretended to not have noticed and followed Jay quickly.

* * *

"Hailey, Jay," Voight greeted them. "What can I do for you?"

"Boss, we have an idea," Hailey started.

"Could we have Sergeant Platt up here, too?" Jay asked. "It's about Cameron Davis."

Voight called Trudy Platt, and she was upstairs in no time, followed by the curious stares of the rest of Intelligence.

Just a few minutes later Trudy came out of Voight's office, followed by Jay and Hailey, who grabbed their jackets and keys and went downstairs with her.

"Special assignment, guys," Hailey just said to their colleagues before they left.

* * *

Shortly thereafter they were on their way to Lincoln High School, with three squad cars with blaring sirens in tow. Naturally they caused a lot of attention, when they arrived at the school, and when they entered the building. But that was exactly what they intended.

Veronica Summers was already waiting for them.

"Good morning," Jay greeted her. "Would you please take us Jonathan McQuarrie and Marc Williams?"

"Sure, follow me." Veronica was calm, as she had talked to Hailey earlier. She brought them to the class, opened the door. With all their natural authority the two detectives and four officers entered.

"Jonathan McQuarrie! Marc Williams! Please step outside!" Jay ordered.

The two teenagers looked surprised, then one of them grinned. "Why would we do that?"

"Because you are under arrest. You posted messages threatening a school shooting under a fake name, and you seriously injured a fellow student. Now stand up."

They stood up very reluctantly.

Two of the officers stepped closer, cuffed the two boys, reading them their rights. All were very much aware that this was over the top, but they wanted to teach these guys a lesson. The officers led the boys outside, making as much noise as possible in the process, and under the watchful eyes of all students and teachers placed them in the squad cars.

Jay and Hailey exchanged a grim smile. "Serves them right," Jay said.

"Well, we will see what daddy's lawyers have to say about it." Hailey answered.

"They will be out soon, but perhaps this will prevent future bullying."

* * *

Back at 21st the two offenders were brought into lockup. Someone would take care of them later.

Upstairs, the others looked at them expectantly.

"What was that?" Adam asked. "What did these two kids do?"

"Is making everyone think a kid is a shooter enough? Or beating said kid into a coma?"

"Whow, Jay," Adam raised his hands defensively. "Just asking."

"Sorry, these brats are disgusting," Jay calmed down immediately.

"You remember the case when we brought this boy, Cameron Davis, here, because the school suspected a shooting threat?" Hailey explained. "As you might know, fellow students beat him up a few days later, and he was in Med. Turns out, the kid didn't post threatening messages or do anything that would justify the suspicions. Jay found that out. These guys did it, and even if we might not get them locked up for good, we can teach them a lesson."

"You think this will work?" Kim asked.

Vanessa looked at Hailey, now convinced that she had been in on this from the start.

"It's worth trying," Jay answered. "We'll leave them downstairs for a while, and I'll go talk to them in the afternoon."


	12. Chapter 12

**_This is the last chapter already. It's been quite an emotional ride for me, more than I had expected. _**

**_Thanks for reading - I'm glad you've enjoyed this._**

**Chapter 12**

In this moment Voight joined the team. "Jay, my office?"

"Sure," Jay followed Voight into his office and closed the door.

"How are you feeling, Jay?" Voight asked – as usual without a long introduction.

"Better, Sarge," Jay answered. "I'll be ok."

"Listen, I don't know exactly what was going on, but I hope you're telling me the truth here."

"I do, Sarge. I have found out that I have a few more demons to fight, and I'm ready to do that, in my personal time. And I've got help." He smiled. "The best help."

"Good." Voight looked at him. "But if necessary, get professional help."

"Already on the way, Sarge."

"So you learned from past experience."

Voight opened the door, stepped outside. The conversation was over.

"Guys, listen," he said to the team. "Halstead will be partnered with Upton again, Rojas with Atwater, Burgess and Ruzek."

Hailey could barely suppress a relieved sigh.

* * *

Later that day Jay went downstairs to the holding cells.

Jonathan and Marc were in adjacent cells, and they looked more annoyed than afraid.

"Where's my father? And a lawyer?" Jonathan asked. "Why are we not allowed to call our parents?"

"You will have your phone call." Jay replied coldly.

"Why am I here? This is ridiculous!" Jonathan asked again, louder.

"You two are here because you posted messages about a school shooting online, under a fake name. And because you beat a kid half to death."

"Nonsense."

"Is it?" Jay raised his eyebrows. "We've got you on tape, Jonathan. And you too, Marc."

Marc looked down, didn't answer.

"That was a joke, man."

"Listen kid!" Jay's voice got louder too, but he remained calm. "It's not man, it's Detective! And it's not a joke to threaten shooting other people, and it's definitely not a joke to frame others, or to beat up others."

"That freak." Jonathan spat it out.

"He's not the freak," Jay answered. "And I will make sure we press charges against you two. You will probably be kicked out of your school. And then say good-bye to a good college."

"But you can't do that!" Marc said quietly.

"I can." Jay turned around, ready to leave.

"Detective," Marc held Jay back. "I'm sorry."

Jay looked at him. "Ready to talk?"

"Yes."

With a nod, Jay asked for Marc's cell to be opened, and he brought the boy upstairs into one of the interrogation rooms, while Jonathan stayed, and he was clearly not happy about it.

Jay didn't actually interrogate Marc, he got Hailey as backup and both talked to Marc. If it was true or not, Marc claimed to be follower only, and he told the two detectives exactly how they hacked into Cameron's social media accounts and thought it funny at the time. The beating was not initiated by them, so he said, but by other students, out of fear.

"Do you know what you did? Are you aware that Cameron might have died? Do you think this is funny? Or justified?" Jay tried to reason with Marc. Either Marc was a good actor, or he understood at least a bit, he apologized again and seemed to mean it.

* * *

The boys' fathers arrived soon afterwards, and both were handed over to their respective fathers, who didn't look happy with their sons. Perhaps they had learned their lesson. Jay wasn't sure, especially regarding Jonathan, but for the moment that was all he could do – and for him right now that was enough. The two boys would be suspended from school for a while, if not for good, and they had faced some consequences. Only time would tell if this was enough.

* * *

In the afternoon both Jay and Hailey drove to Med, to meet Cameron and his parents. Jay had called his parents, asked them to meet him there.

"Detective," Anna greeted him. "I heard you found out who was responsible?"

"Yes, we did. And it's over now." Jay confirmed with a proud smile. It felt great to bring good news.

He quickly told them about how Marc and Jonathan had been picked up by the police in the morning, and Cameron couldn't suppress a smile. "Oh, I would have loved to see that," he said. "But… but what will happen when I go back to school?"

Hailey smiled and stood next to Jay, wrapping her arm around his waist. "Don't worry."

Jay put his arm around Hailey's shoulders, exchanged a smile with her. "Hailey's right, Cam," he added. "We've got news. Anne, Jason, Cam, there's something I need to tell you. I managed to pull some strings with Father McClosky. And we have a place for you in another school, which has a very good reputation, great teachers, and no bullying. And a full scholarship for you."

"You… what?" Cameron sat upright, wide-eyed. "How? When?"

"How did you do that, Jay?" Jason asked.

"I've known Father McClosky for a while now, and we've helped each other out a few times. And he's always happy to help kids, and he has the right connections. You will feel much better in that school. No rich kids, just intelligent kids."

"Wow." That was all Cameron could say. He needed time to realize what had just happened. Anne hugged Jay and Hailey gratefully. "Thank you so much for doing that for my boy. Thank you so much."

They talked a while longer, Jay gave them some more details, and they agreed to meet when Cameron would leave the hospital. After half an hour, Jay had a few minutes with Cameron again.

"Thank you, Cam," he said.

"Why do you thank me?" the boy answered. "I have to thank you. It's like a miracle."

"You deserve it, Cam. Take the chance." Jay replied. "You made me realize a lot about myself these couple of weeks. And by the way – if you ever want to join the police, give me a call, ok?"

"Sounds like a good idea. I actually might."

"See you, Cam."

"See you, Jay." Cam grinned. "So, she is your girlfriend now?"

"Yes, she is." Jay smiled back at him.

* * *

Outside of Med, Jay and Hailey weren't quite in the mood to return to the precinct immediately, they walked to the nearby park.

"Do you know how amazing you are, Jay?" Hailey suddenly asked. "What you did for Cam, that was… "

"I guess I did it for myself, too."

"Still, you helped this kid tremendously." They stopped in the shadow of a big oak tree.

Jay put his arms around Hailey, pulled her close.

"Hailey, are we…?"

"Yes," she interrupted him with a big smile in her face.

"You don't even know what I wanted to ask"

"Jay, we are a couple now. I want to be with you. I love you."

"Are you sure?" His eyes widened, a tentative smile appeared on his face. "I'm damaged goods."

"Jay, everyone is. You, me, everyone. And that's ok. You're MY damaged goods. And you're the kindest, sweetest, and sexiest man I have ever met. I won't let you go."

"Hailey, you're the best thing that ever happened to me," Jay answered, tears in his green eyes. "I love you so much."


End file.
